That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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