my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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