How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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