a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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