hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
