she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
