how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
