I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
