grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
