Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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