so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
