Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
