Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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