do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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