But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
