Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
