Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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