i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
