I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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