Sponge bath it is.
I just cut my nipple shaving
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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