Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
