Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
