Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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