see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
