i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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