Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I could make wine with my vomit
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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