Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
