if i can run in heels then i can drive
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
