I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
