You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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