...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
You ate ashes out of my bong
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
