I CAN MOONWALK!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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