I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The Olympian is in my bed
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
