What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
