I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
