dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
