If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she peed on how many people?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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