I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Do vagina's smell?
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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