Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
