I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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