My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
