Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
