i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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