I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
