I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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