Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
