He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
