escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
