One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
