New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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