i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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