dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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